Head To Head
Log In
Register
U-Know! Forum »
Jihadists meet satire with bullets
Log In to post a reply

90 messages
Topic View: Flat | Threaded
Sin Agog
Sin Agog
2253 posts

Re: Jihadists meet satire with bullets
Jan 10, 2015, 20:43
A few decades back I treated yours, and adjacent countries, like a colony I could do with what I pleased. I sacked your villages and made epoch-defining decisions over a restaurant table. The death toll was immense. I then funded you, and your enemies, and you again, based on whichever side sounded like it would end up on the right wing. This was our way of going to war without going to war. I then go to war with you. I torture, rape, bomb and kill you in your hundreds of thousands. I profile those who look like you abroad. Our newsrags think you're charismatic, in a Hannibal Lecter kind of way, so they direct a screaming litany of abuse your way whenever they can... It sells, damnit! I encourage them to exploit our very language, using your dispossessed lack of resources to paint you as terrorists every step of the way, as terrorists never were children; they came out of the womb spouting fire and dogma. We cackle to ourselves every time you retaliate, especially when you attack our feckless civvies. Those of us with shares in the weapons industry, which is a fuckton of us pezzonovantes who call the shots, are especially thankful for your amateurish lashings out. Every attack fills up the war-meter, and when it's full we get to attack another country, though never has the whole country been on the same page enough to fully justify who we choose as our targets (can't believe no one's cottoned onto us using the same trick from WWI over and over- wait for a terrorist attack, then start a war on that whole country). It must be hard being you, the supervillains of the world, but we're in the business of war and you just happen to make the perfect, constantly renewable enemy. It's a king hell of a scheme, don't you think? Poke you and poke you and scream "terror! terror!" when you poke back? I just hope no one realises that, in war, whoever has the biggest death toll on their hands, is pretty likely the nastiest of the two sides, 'cause when they do we're screwed. Although...we're good with words; we'll probably talk ourselves out of that hole when we come to it.
Topic Outline:

U-Know! Forum Index