PMM
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Re: older mums - just say no!
Oct 24, 2006, 14:15
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Nice one Jane. Couldn't have put it better.
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Popel Vooje
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Re: older mums - just say no!
Oct 24, 2006, 16:01
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Your last paragraph was spot on. Shame I hardly ever seem to meet women who hold the same views.
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Jane
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Re: older mums - just say no!
Oct 24, 2006, 16:07
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Yes, it is a heresy for a woman to admit that she doesn't want children or (like me) if she already has them that she hates being a mother.
To me motherhood is a foul, thankless, overly-emotionally expensive, horrible job and if I had my life again I would be sterilised at puberty. True.
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Locodogz
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Re: older mums - just say no!
Oct 24, 2006, 16:50
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We'e expecting our first in early December and the only advice I'd give is never say never....
...for many many years I never thought I had a paternal bone in my body but then even as late as your mid-30s (by when you kind of think you'll have it all worked out!) things can change. I'm genuinely looking forward to it - bit daunted especially by the really floppy headed new born thing.
The only thing we're struggling on is names if its a boy - Vybik Locodogz just doesn't scan......
Oh and Jane - I'll put you down for baby-sitting duties then......kidding!!!
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supercat
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Re: older mums - just say no!
Oct 24, 2006, 17:33
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I luvs u mad-dawg! ;)xx big hugs to you both (3) xxx
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shanshee_allures
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Re: older mums - just say no!
Oct 24, 2006, 19:29
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Hi. It was more of a personal rant than anything else. But there are practicalities. Of course I loved my parents, and my dad did manage to see my daughter up until she was 5 months.
But, I am 33, my dad died two years ago aged 84, my mum was 44 when I was born. My eldest brother is 59. That's one hell of an age gap! I know your average 70 year old has changed over the years (the likes of Wullie Nelson wouldn't have existed even twenty years ago), but if you don't want kids and stick to your instincts, I think that's great. I wish more of the morons I see round here that treat their kids like shit all the time thought similarly.
But I spent most of my growing up watching my parents fall asleep at tea time.
I don't care about statistics regarding academic mums or toilet cleaning mums I'm talking mums (and dads) who have the energy to be parents.
MOST men, even although they can, never really become parents past 50. It's a fact. That is a good thing! If it happens it happens, same with women (it will also be rare).
But please, don't bloody tease out nature any more than we have to - lifestyle choice parents are the worst (although IVF for infertile couples at a reasonalbe age is of course ok).
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Daminxa
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Re: older mums - just say no!
Oct 24, 2006, 23:25
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Right, time to sit on the fence so fkn hard it goes right up me ARSE!!! Me Ma and Pa were 40 when I came along. Can't say I had the least dysfunctional upbringing EVER but then again it coulda bin tonnes worse and anyway, who's to say it was cos they was 40 and not cos of all sorts of other reasons? As others have said (more eloquently than I can in me zoidered up state) as long as the parents LOVE their kids who gives a flying wotsit what age there are? There are benefits of having kids when you're young and fit and benefits of having kids when you're old and wise. Horses for courses (says she wi' the fence going so far up her ritter it HURTS!) Me, I had my first when I was what? 31? Second when I was 35 - that makes me only five years younger than me mam when she had me so not in a position to criticise. I think it all boils down to the overwhelming paranoia I feel as a parent which is that I'm damned if I do and I'm damned if I don't.
I'll say this though - both times I sprogged was by (very) happy accident and if it'd had never happened then I wouldn't have known what I'd missed, would I? Have to say that for ME, IVF would never have been an option cos I is a fatalist and if something isn't meant to be, for me, then it's not meant to be. I do accept, however, that some people just KNOW they want kids come what may so they'll go to the lengths of IVF to see that they fulfil their dreams of parenthood. Can't cuss that cos I don't know how it feels so probably shouldn't comments. Do concede though that maybe people are 40 before they realise they can't sprog themselves or before they're properly diagnosed as needing IVF or whatever. Now if they're good people who can offer a baby love and security and so on then I guess they should have their chance. Like I say, I is sat on the fence but then I get a good view of both side of the argument from here...
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Vybik Jon
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Re: older mums - just say no!
Oct 25, 2006, 09:44
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Locodogz wrote: The only thing we're struggling on is names if its a boy - Vybik Locodogz just doesn't scan......
I can't see the problem myself.
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shanshee_allures
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Re: older mums - just say no! + congrats to Locodogz
Oct 25, 2006, 09:52
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I had my first (and now I know, only) at 31. the floppy head thing is a bit daunting, but you get so used to it. You can bring your tot into bed, and you find you have this in built mechanism that prevents you squashing them and you wake up as soon as they shit or cough or anything.
These things can be a worry, but it all works out. Good luck and hope all goes well.
x
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laresident
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Re: older mums and dads
Oct 26, 2006, 06:12
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I'm a bit of an old geezer in that we had our second when I was 46. I feel I had a pretty good run in life up till then and now I feel strangely spent of all ambition. I work purely to bring cash in for our relatively frugal lifestyle and all I'm into is raising the kids.
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