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UK ID card Bill 'within four weeks'
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Mr Altres
Mr Altres
140 posts

Fron the US
Apr 16, 2004, 13:43
NATIONAL ID NUMBER"
Below is an detailed example of how the new "NATIONAL ID NUMBER"
system is quite likely to work, when congress gets it passed into law. "It will happen!"

A CUSTOMER ORDERING PIZZA in 2006 By Phone......


Operator: "Thank you for calling Pizza Central. May I have your..."

Customer: "Hi, this is Mike Kilgore, I'd like to order....."

Operator: "May I have your NIDN first, sir?"

Customer: "My National ID Number, yeah, hold on, ah, it's 6102049998-666-5461029874."

Operator: "Thank you, Mr. Kilgore. Please hold the speaker portion of the phone up to
your forehead so I can verify the number....I'm sorry sir, the number isn't verified. Use the
chip placed in the back of your hand? Try holding the phone there."

Thank you sir, the number has been verified. I see you live at 1742 Meadowland Drive,
and the phone number's 494-2366. Your office number over at Preferred Insurance is
745-2302 and your cell number's 266-2566. Which number are you calling from, sir?"

Customer: "Huh? I'm at home. Where d'ya get all this information?"

Operator: " You are wired into the system, sir."

Customer: (Sighs) "Oh, well, I'd like to order a couple of your All-Meat Special pizzas..."

Operator: "I don't think that's a good idea, sir."

Customer: "Whaddya mean?"

Operator: "Sir, your medical records indicate that you've got very high blood pressure
and extremely high cholesterol. Your National Health Care provider won't allow such
an unhealthy choice."

Customer: "Damn..... What do you recommend, then?"

Operator: "You might try our low-fat Soybean Yogurt Pizza. I'm sure you'll like it"

Customer: "What makes you think I'd like something like that?"

Operator: "Well, you checked out 'Gourmet Soybean Recipes' from your local library
last week, sir. That's why I made the suggestion."

Customer: "All right, all right. Give me two family-sized ones, then. What's the damage?"

Operator: "That should be plenty for you, your wife and your four kids, sir. The 'damage,'
as you put it, heh, heh, comes $49.99."

Customer: "Lemme give you my credit card number."

Operator: "I'm sorry sir, but I'm afraid you'll have to pay in cash. Your credit card balance
is currently over its limit....that happened yesterday when you ordered a Gucci bag for your
girlfriend who lives in St' Louis ."

Customer: "I'll run over to the ATM and get some cash before your driver gets here."

Operator: "That won't work either, sir. Your checking account's overdrawn."

Customer: "Never mind. Just send the pizzas. I'll have the cash ready. How long will it take?"

Operator: "We're running a little behind, sir. It'll be about 45 minutes, sir.
If you're in a hurry you might want to pick 'em up while you're out getting the cash,
but carrying pizzas on a motorcycle can be a little awkward."

Customer: "How the hell do you know I'm riding a bike?"

Operator: "It says here you're in arrears on your car payments, so your car got repo'ed.
But your Harley's paid up, so I just assumed that you'd be using it."

Customer: "@#%/$@&?#!"

Operator: "I'd advise watching your language, sir. You've already got a July of 2005
conviction for cussing out a police officer."

Customer: (Speechless)

Operator: "Will there be anything else, sir?"

Customer: "No, nothing. oh, yeah, don't forget the two free liters of Coke your ad says
I get with the pizzas."

Operator: "I'm sorry sir, but our ad's exclusionary clause prevents us from offering
free soda to diabetics." Your pizzas should be ready to pick up in about 35 minutes.
Thank you for calling Pizza Central."
In reply to:
UK ID card Bill 'within four weeks' (Merrick)		 Replies:
Re: Fron the US (BlueAstronaut)
Re: Fron the US (Riddley Walker)
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