If animal metaphors are your favourite then you must admit you are a squid (and no offence to other cephalopods here or elsewhere), all slippery tentacles, ungraspable, and more than willing to muddy the water when cornered. I didn't say spineless.
Mike: " I am a reptile and God and it is armageddon in 2011 and you are Ford Fiestas!"
John Doe: "You're a big fibber!"
Mike: (squirting violently) "you are ignorant, stupid head!" (squirt, scuttle)
John Doe: (splutter) "No, I don't believe you"
Mike: You are what's called by us superior beings as a John. You stupid pants"
ad nauseum.
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