wychburyman
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Howard in move to cut waste shock horror
Jan 17, 2005, 21:57
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Michael Howard is to make swinging cuts in public service sector jobs by cutting out unnecessary bureaucracy. This includes local authorities where the parks’ department lawnmower men are first in line for the axe. Howard has ordered a moratorium on grass growing and insists that huge savings can be made be forcing the grass not to grow. Howard comments: “ there is so much unnecessary waste and it is unacceptable for the British people to expect such wilful expression of photosynthesis, an unnecessary quango set up by New Labour. So we intend to pass legislation to inhibit the unnecessary growth of public grass. We already witness grass mountains in Europe and propose to complain to the Court of Human Rights”. This was later backed by UKIP. A spokesman for grass has suggested the move is politically motivated but will investigate every opportunity to stop the Earth from spinning and the rain from falling. Howard added that following the successful implementation of his policy he will implement cuts to reduce the amount of eggs needlessly wasted in the process of getting Grannies to suck them. In a knee jerk response New Labour has announced it will seek a Private Finance Initiative to ensure the grass is kept in check.
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Cleira
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Re: Howard in move to cut waste shock horror
Jan 18, 2005, 14:53
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Tough on grass.
Tough on the causes of grass.
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Vybik Jon
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Re: Howard in move to cut waste shock horror
Jan 18, 2005, 15:50
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I thought it wasn't any longer illegal to be found with grass?
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wychburyman
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Re: Howard in move to cut waste shock horror
Jan 18, 2005, 17:47
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i won't grass on you!
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Vybik Jon
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Re: Howard in move to cut waste shock horror
Jan 18, 2005, 17:53
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Good job! Otherwise I might be in the joint.
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wychburyman
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Re: Howard in move to cut waste shock horror
Jan 18, 2005, 17:56
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i presume that isn't your ususal turf!
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Vybik Jon
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Re: Howard in move to cut waste shock horror
Jan 18, 2005, 19:11
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You silly sod!
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PMM
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Re: Howard in move to cut waste shock horror
Jan 18, 2005, 22:25
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Tony Blair has responded by making swinging cuts in public service sector jobs by cutting out unnecessary bureaucracy. This includes local authorities where the parks’ department lawnmower men are first in line for the axe. Blair has ordered a moratorium on grass growing and insists that huge savings can be made be forcing the grass not to grow. Blair comments: “ there is so much unnecessary waste and it is unacceptable for the British people to expect such wilful expression of photosynthesis, an unnecessary quango inherited from the Tories. So we intend to pass legislation to inhibit the unnecessary growth of public grass. We already witness grass mountains in Europe and propose to complain to the Court of Human Rights”. This was later backed by UKIP. A spokesman for grass has suggested the move is politically motivated but will investigate every opportunity to stop the Earth from spinning and the rain from falling. Blair added that following the successful implementation of his policy he will implement cuts to reduce the amount of eggs needlessly wasted in the process of getting Grannies to suck them. New Labour has also announced it will seek a Private Finance Initiative to ensure the grass is kept in check.
End
or is it...?
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wychburyman
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Re: Howard in move to cut waste shock horror
Jan 18, 2005, 23:01
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sorry for my pampaasity
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PMM
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Re: Howard in move to cut waste shock horror
Jan 18, 2005, 23:20
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Ignore him. he's just trying to be an alfalfa male.
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