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Howard in move to cut waste shock horror
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wychburyman
951 posts

Howard in move to cut waste shock horror
Jan 17, 2005, 21:57
Michael Howard is to make swinging cuts in public service sector jobs by cutting out unnecessary bureaucracy. This includes local authorities where the parks’ department lawnmower men are first in line for the axe. Howard has ordered a moratorium on grass growing and insists that huge savings can be made be forcing the grass not to grow. Howard comments: “ there is so much unnecessary waste and it is unacceptable for the British people to expect such wilful expression of photosynthesis, an unnecessary quango set up by New Labour. So we intend to pass legislation to inhibit the unnecessary growth of public grass. We already witness grass mountains in Europe and propose to complain to the Court of Human Rights”. This was later backed by UKIP. A spokesman for grass has suggested the move is politically motivated but will investigate every opportunity to stop the Earth from spinning and the rain from falling. Howard added that following the successful implementation of his policy he will implement cuts to reduce the amount of eggs needlessly wasted in the process of getting Grannies to suck them. In a knee jerk response New Labour has announced it will seek a Private Finance Initiative to ensure the grass is kept in check.

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