Julian Cope presents Head Heritage

Scum to get ID cards first

This change of strategy on ID cards by the government might be a winner, I’m sorry and worried to say. The plan is for a phased introduction starting with three of the most hated groups of people in Britain: bloody foreigners, bloody students and bloody airport baggage handlers.

It’s perfect. When the scheme turns out to be the unmitigated carnage all right-thinking people believe it’s going to be, well, who cares. It was only bloody foreigners, bloody students and bloody airport baggage handlers whose lives were ruined. Go back to sleep Britain. Walk on by.

The only way to improve this plan would be to include Members of Parliament and nonces.