Brain Donor promos await distribution from the Head Heritage offices

Hey All You Outcasts, Outsiders, Low Castes & Statesiders,

Welcome to the autumn, blow winds blow! This is the time of year when my early morning waking policy all turns to shit as the sun at 6am is still kipping a big one. Indeed, I’m writing this in the darkness at ten to seven and the dawn chorus is still attempting to ignore one particularly belligerent teenage blackbird, enough already. What’d I tell you, even he’s given up now. So this month’s big story has to be the Pope’s ridiculous words about the prophet Mohammed. Following the advice of any good Jesuit, the Pope does as he pleases then apologises afterwards. But, come on Pope, you think we’re not totally aware of your religious shit-stirring? Even the Vatican must know by now that Islam is the new Emo, super touchy touchy and desperate to prove to its mates how bloody misunderstood they are. So why court trouble with such seemingly random broadsides? You think we ain’t aware just how painfully considered that set-up was? Don’t you think it’s a bit rich dredging up this crap via some dodgy emperor from way back in the 14th century, a time when Christianity’s collective unconscious was at least as stupidly dogmatic and easily wound up as Islam is in this early 21st century? If I were the Pope, standing atop Crosstianity’s two-thousand-year history of Jewish Persecution, Women Persecution, Homosexual Persecution, African Persecution and Flat Earth Scholarship, I think I’d dither a bit before slinging mud at other religious morons who were so clearly my Juniors In Infamy. But then, the evidence suggests that the Pope knew precisely what he was doing if only because it takes one to know one.

RADISH ON LIGHT by Warmer Milks

BODY CAGE by Nadja

VERMICULATUS by Scald

THE LEGEND OF BLACK SIX by The Phantom Family Halo

Anyway, let’s change the subject from Invisible Sky Gods to things that really matter… rock’n’roll. I gots to say that Now is the best time for new Mung Worship of the highest order, and I’ve been deluged with all kinds of proto-plod in the past month. But dammit we need it more than ever right now as Khanate have split up! Boo fucking hoo hoo! Yup, those dredgers of the world’s sub-oceans have decided to call it quits and have returned to their day jobs (as snipers, priest rapers and trainers of Osama Bin Ladin’s bodylice, no doubt). Still, this past month saw the release of some truly transcendental floss for all those searching for an ecstatic leaving-of-the-body. First off, those of you searching for a Cleveland/Detroit post-Monoshock, post-Rocket From The Tombs take on mentally subnormal ‘Final Solution’-informed seer/sucker rock should get their mitts on the incredible RADISH ON LIGHT by Kentucky singer Warmer Milks. Unlike many new albums, this record was put together by one succinct motherfucker with a traditional 40-minute ceiling for his debut. This album is four destroyed unyielding tracks of cackling, gargling, gurning, howling, sub-humanoid yelp concluding with the quarter-of-an-hour title track, and not a moment too long. In fact I spun this bastard three times in a row last night – family’s in Venice – and the beer just got tastier as the bathwater cooled to an autumnal pond temp. Get hold of Herr Milks’ extremely consistent masterpiece on myspace​.com or via www​.troublemanunlimited​.com. Nice? Fucking fantastic! Next up, you should head for www​.profoundlore​.com, where the doom duo Nadja has its debut album BODYCAGE available. This massive unfolding cacophony inhabits the same euphoric area as last month’s picks The Angelic Process. Created by drummer/guitarist Aidan Baker and bass player Leah Buckareff, the music of Nadja conjures up vast and extremely beautiful chordal landscapes, and takes the listener right down deep into the Underworld, where it’s perfect for alpha meditation, exercising and engorged workouts too. Staying right in the same groove is Scald’s enormous new record VERMICULATUS, on the Code 666 label. Like Sleep’s JERUSALEM, this record consists of one single track, this one 47 minutes long, which moves through several stages from bombastic metal riffery to musique concrete via white noise and the moving of the earth’s tectonic plates. Check out their myspace or buy this sucker at www​.auralmusic​.com. I’m also right blown away by the catchy and compelling all-purpose psychedelia of THE LEGEND OF BLACK SIX by power trio The Phantom Family Halo. I say ‘all purpose’ because this stuff is useful and should be available by the vat on prescription, because it’s good for the mental health. I say power trio, but this lot are greedy motherfuckers with a hefty set of auxiliary members. The sound is totally reminiscent of that 1970 period when no fucker could control the number of overdubs, and these guys pass through every stage from The Youngbloods and Kalackakra to a kind of Amon Duul PARADIESWARTS DUUL-informed take on David Voorhaus’ White Noise project via early (very early) Chrome on their way to the proto metal of ‘Electric God In Your Galaxy’. This record is vinyl only, I believe, but double check by contacting [email protected].

Finally finally, as a perfect piece of evidence with which to shore up old Jimbo Morrison’s assertion that “You cannot petition the Lord with prayer”, I gotta add this quick story about Rebecca Smith, an American CNN journalist who recently spotted an exclusive when she heard about a very old Jewish guy who’d been going down to Jerusalem’s Wailing Wall to pray, twice a day, everyday, for effing years. So she went to the Wailing Wall and someone soon pointed him out. Ms Smith watched him pray for about forty-five minutes, then – as he turned to leave – she approached him for an interview. “I’m Rebecca Smith from CNN. Sir, how long have you been coming to the wall and praying?” “For about sixty years.” “Sixty years!!? That’s amazing. What do you pray for?” “I pray for peace between the Christians, Jews and the Muslims. I pray for all the hatred to stop and I pray that all our children will grow up in safety and friendship.” “How do you feel after doing this for sixty years?” “Like I’m talking to the wall.”

‘Twas ever thus, brothers’n’sisters,

U‑Know!

JULIAN (Lord Yatesbury)