Hey Punks,

If I’m late on the Drudion it’s because I’m very busy, so very sorry about that. I spent that British heatwave in the west and south-west of Crete, where it was slightly cooler and not such a wet heat. I had to find a carved megalithic throne on the beach the furthest west in all of Crete, man, but what a trip to see it and even stranger to see the Romans’ harbour that was left high and dry in 100 BC when the sea retreated 100 metres down the hillside.
ROME WASN’T BURNED IN A DAY is going to be a stone gasser, and all the protagonists are now in place. I’m currently listening to the festival’s promotional CD, which contains tracks from all of the bands involved, including a 14-minutes full version of Vibracathedral’s glorious “Baptism Bar Blues”. Mercy me, I loves this track. And please see the Album of the Month for a real in-depth on the showing of the Taj Mahal Travellers’ movie. Seth Man will be presenting his Quadrophonic Room at ROME…, in which just four people per evening will get to hear Black Sabbath’s PARANOID LP in loud quadraphonic sound in the comfort and company of Mein Host the Seth Man. As a total of only 12 lucky people will get to receive this honour, there will be a competition next month to see who gets the prized tickets. But be on your Sabbath toes – we ain’t no pushovers!
Also, I’ve kept my promise of an album of new songs, which will be out at the beginning of next month and bears the same title as the festival itself. The ROME WASN’T BURNED IN A DAY album contains songs I’ve done in concert, including “The Way Love Is”, “Zennor Quoit” and my Tukh Manukh song about Armenia, “Shrine of the Black Youth”. Donald Ross Skinner and Doggen are the main other musicians, and there’s some truly burning lead guitar and Mellotron 400 on this new record. And hail to Holy McGrail for his synthesizers on “Dance by the Light of the Bridges you burn”.
The Reverend John Moloney from Sunburned Hand of the Man tells me that they are on the cover of The Wire magazine this month, and are looking forward to playing the ROME… show. Stephen O’Malley from Sunn0))) emailed to tell me he and Greg Anderson are re-growing their beards especially for the occasion. Oo yeah! Stephen O’Malley’s other band Khanate have their excellent new trudge THINGS VIRAL out soon, and the Dubin vocal is as on the case as ever. I’m with Dubin!
Sorry the Brain Donor show isn’t going ahead, but Kevlar decided that though he’s strong enough for the underarm bowling of the Spiritualized tour, he’s not quite recovered enough yet to put out the full Aussie assault what the Donor requires. Fair enough, I guess, as Doggen is going to be here and will also be presenting his new project Sons of TC-Lethbridge. Doggen has got together with one of my heroes – the writer Colin Wilson – to record a double-CD of spoken word and deeply fuzzed out rock’n’roll. I’ve heard the stuff, which was produced by a friend of mine called Welbourn Tekh, and it’s a righteous trip. I met Welbourn in the late 90s and his TC-Lethbridge scholarship is the real deal. He’s known Colin Wilson for years and the project just came together very easily. Next month, there will be a double-CD with 36-page booklet from Sons of TC-Lethbridge, so, uh, Look Out!

Hey, I gotta say a huge yes to the new White Hills CD. Is this the first American band to real voice anti-war opinion well? The music is heavy, too and I just wish that first track went on for another 15 minutes. Man, some rock’n’roll has got so lame nowadays. I read what those bunch of hairy no-marks Black rebel Motorbikle Club said in a recent interview: “We’d love to get a motorbike and ride across the USA but we’re afraid of getting shot.” To them I say, then get shot, you wankers. For us. Even in death, you’d be more alive than you are right now. And reading the Marylin Manson autobiography for career ideas, I was struck dumb, nay, legless with hysteria to see that primary school Marylin chose (of all the fucking four) to play the part of cat man Peter Criss when doing the inevitable Kiss-make-up-at-party routine. The cat man? Hail main, I can hardly believe any fucker woulda wanted to be the Cat Man – even my two pre-teens long ago singled him out as Kiss’ Underachiever General. How’s you gonna be America’s Nemesis with THAT in yo’ past? Engross me out!

And what of all these rock re-unions? What constitutes a re-union nowadays? The new line seems to be we wanted to get back together but Phil couldn’t do it because he’s too busy with his second hand oil and fat business, so we got Plug in from Snotgobbler to fill in (well, they was playing the same post-punk circuit as us at the time so it’s no weirder than Foxton joining Stiff Little Fingers). Is this the future way? Rocket From The Tombs just got ‘back together’ for the first time since 1975 and one of the two main protagonists Peter Laughner is long dead. Left the planet in 1977. C’mon, shouldn’t this so-called re-union at least acknowledge who or what informed the ur-drive of that band? Should getting Richard Lloyd in from Television be an acceptable option – I woulda thunk Tom Verlaine and Peter Laughner would be turning in their graves (Laughner’s grave is the real deal, Verlaine’s is merely artistic, but allow me my fucking metaphor… puh-leeeze!). So shouldn’t this re-united bunch at least be called Laughner from the Tombs? And Kiss are now touring with some guy wearing the Space Ace’s make-up!!! Wow, our very own Kiss tribute band right within the real thing! And what about the Stooges with a new bass player, when James Williamson is washing dishes just around the corner from their rehearsal space. And where’s fucking Scott Thurston? Who the fuck is this Mike Watt, apart from some nice guy who won’t barf on Iggy’s stage. I’m sure his provenance in underground rock history is so very sound but SO THE FUCK WHAT? Am I the only one not suckered into these re-union things? Here’s a few re-union rules I’ve drawn up and want adhered to or I’m gonna McCarthy-izes your Siamese asses, and book you suckers for failure to rock:

1. No substitutes unless the original is dead.
2. No substitutes just because the replacement played the same scene
3. No re-unions at all unless your kids’ school fees depend on it.
4. Must feature at least one original unless yooz the Blues Magoos.

Hey, if Una Baines, Yvonne Pawlett, Martin Bramah, Karl Burns, Marc ‘Lard’ Riley and Craig Scanlon got together with Michael Des Barres on vocals, could they tour as The Fall? 

Before I leave, congratulations to Holy McGrail and his new missus Abbie on their marriage. The wedding was held in Derbyshire and we had a wonderful time, especially when they walked out together to the sound of Sabbatum’s medieval version of Black Sabbath “War Pigs”.

Git Down!

JULIAN (M’Lud Yatesbury)