Daminxa wrote: Ha!
I think we've probably all been the victim of car twats - I've lost count of the number of times I've had verbal abuse or some indeterminable fluid chucked at me from cars - to carry on walking is probably the best thing to do in the circumstances; don't give them a reaction - that's all they're after, it loses its sting if they get no response.
As for wasps, they're bastards and bully us all - I had one go down my top in the middle of Dorchester Market once, I had to do a very rapid but very necessary strip-tease in broad daylight!
Deers? No I can honestly say I've never been molested by a deer! I got stalked by a donkey once, but not with malicious intent. I also got dry-humped by a dog once when I was out walking mine, who, unbeknown to me was in heat. We got followed home by this mad mut and had to barricade ourselves in the house. I was utterly traumatised and still have visions of dog jizz flying through the air indiscriminately. A good argument for nadger nicking if ever there was one!
Dog jizz? Dog jizz??? Oh dear God. I had my leg dry humped in Amsterdam once but luckily no jizz was forthcoming.
My wife once accidentally brought a guinea pig to climax. What can you say? All she was doing was stroking it on the sofa when it gave a squeak and a shudder (don't we all) and out came a little guinea pig man-wee. I've tried dressing up as one since but haven't had the same luck.
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