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My Wife's Gran....
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Monganaut
Monganaut
1691 posts

Edited Jan 28, 2017, 08:10
My Wife's Gran....
Jan 28, 2017, 08:07
....Passed away yesterday. 101 years old. She went the usual way in the elderly, had a fall, went to hospital, had a heart attack, passed peacefully in her sleep. As you can imagine, we're all very sad.

I'm not prone to sentimentality, but I feel moved to share a few words about a remarkable woman, who lived a very selfless life and that I feel privileged to have got to know.

She was a life long Christian, and in the 1980's, her church group, along with many others formed an unofficial underground to smuggle people who were wanted under the the South African Apartheid regime out of the country to freedom. She never crowed about it, just got on with helping others to freedom. Many good souls passed through her small home, and hopefully, on to a better life. In many ways her Christianity defined her, but she never rubbed it in anyone's face, her faith was a personal thing between her and her maker, but she continued to do good things to her dying day.

She wasn't always easy to get along with, sometimes she was deffo a bit 'marmite', stubborn would be the word I'd use (I remember us having a discussion about Buzzard's once, me saying they ate carrion, her adamant that they didn't, as we drove passed a Buzzard, you guess it, eating carrion. Nothing was said and we continued with a different conversation. Even though I was DYING to say "TOLD YOU SO", I bit my tongue and thought better of it). She was like that, she brought the best out of you without you realising it

She was of the generation that didn't readily share their emotions, but I still remember the joy in her eyes the first time she clamped eyes on my youngest and welcomed her into the family fold.

When we were a young family, and it seems almost permanently broke, Granny's, up in Lanchester became a cheap holiday home, where we would base ourselves for amazing days out with her in the North East, her always paying, and rather infuriatingly, refusing to take a bleeding penny from us in return.

She lived through amazing and harrowing times globally, and has witnessed many changes in Britain, the world, and society in general, for good or bad. She was a life long Socialist, without ever realising it, she always wanted the best, for everyone, whomever, or wherever you might be.

She was interested in just about everything (well except my musical tastes). We bonded over our mutual interest in archaeology and wild life, and we'd share info on what we's seen, where we'd been, magazines or bits of info about programmes we'd seen or radio documentaries we'd heard. I didn't need to subscribe to British Archaeology, as at odd intervals, huge bundles of mags would be posted my way, much to my delight.

What makes me angriest though, is that all those 'good' things that happened to society as a whole during her life seem to be systematically being dismantled and sold off. The only bad thing I ever heard her utter was about the feckin' Tory's lack of humanity.

I've no doubt her funeral will be amongst the best attended I'll ever have the bad luck to have go to. She was widely liked, loved and respected by pretty much everyone who came into her orbit. She is survived by her four wonderful children, her too numerous to mention grand kids, and whole flotilla of great grand kids. I'm glad I've been accepted as part of such a warm and generous extended family, you really couldn't ask for a better bunch.

I'm gonna miss the old duffer. Here's hoping you got to where you need to be Edith, it's a cliche, but there really is a new star in Heaven. And while you're there, have a word in a certain somebody's shell-like, it's all going to shit down here.
wychburyman
937 posts

Re: My Wife's Gran....
Jan 28, 2017, 08:30
Respect to the old girl. RIP
tjj
tjj
3310 posts

Re: My Wife's Gran....
Jan 28, 2017, 08:50
A beautiful tribute to a woman called Edith. A life well lived.
moss
moss
2813 posts

Re: My Wife's Gran....
Jan 28, 2017, 08:53
An elegant and heartfelt tribute to a very special person, I am sure she will shine amongst the stars.
Kid Calamity
8933 posts

Re: My Wife's Gran....
Jan 28, 2017, 09:15
Vibes for your loss, Mongo.

...and indeed the many her positivity spread too. Now, cut and paste that lovely send off, you've written. Print it off - frame it - and hang it somewhere, for visitors to find.
Markoid
Markoid
1621 posts

Edited Jan 28, 2017, 09:49
Re: My Wife's Gran....
Jan 28, 2017, 09:40
What a beautiful and heartfelt eulogy towards your wife's Gran. She sounds like a great person. And people do live on in some way, despite death.

It's quite amazingly positive one can be in bereavement. Old folks know the score. We can go through teenage and semi-adult rebellion and anti-this and anti-that, but family are hugely important.

My old man died about 4 years ago at the grand old age of 84 I think. We stopped counting! I never got on with him until his last 4 or 5 years on earth. A great guy though. He pops up in my dreams once in a while, and one of my sisters still talks to him...for real! I read a passage from The Bible for him at his funeral and carrried his coffin, despite being an atheist, because that is what he would have wanted me to say and do. He was a very devout Catholic, had social morals, but way too strict for me.

People live on, in memory and spirit. I like to be positive about these things!

Take Care fella.

(Nick Cave, Kylie Minogue, Shane MacGowan, Blixa Bargeld, Mick Harvey - Death is not the end)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ao0lyPjYQw0&list=RDAo0lyPjYQw0
Sanctuary
Sanctuary
4645 posts

Edited Jan 28, 2017, 09:44
Re: My Wife's Gran....
Jan 28, 2017, 09:43
Sorry to hear that sad news. R.I.P. gran.
Toni Torino
2273 posts

Re: My Wife's Gran....
Jan 28, 2017, 10:46
Now THAT'S a life. RIP Edith.
carol27
761 posts

Re: My Wife's Gran....
Jan 28, 2017, 17:49
People say that generation were made of sterner stuff. I think we owe it to our offspring & the memories of our loved elders to pass that " stuff" on.
My grandmother is often in my thoughts; like yours she could be stubborn as a mule & she probably veered more to Conservatism, but I doubt she'd agree with that ideal now.
What I miss is the time spent & how she really listened. Her handsome craggy face; her corsets & her absolute solid strength.
What a lovely tribute you've written. Wouldn't it be great if our offspring felt the same about us. Something to strive towards:)
Sin Agog
Sin Agog
2306 posts

Re: My Wife's Gran....
Jan 28, 2017, 19:32
I feel like one of the biggest missed opportunities of my life was not getting to know my granddad on my mum's side well enough while he was still alive. He was someone who would rather smile than talk. It was only last week I found out that he was a vegan conscientious objector during WWII before being forced to work in an abattoir for a year after coming out of jail. Then there was the fact that he was a prominent member of the Ramblers Association who adored nothing more than hiking twenty-five miles to the nearest barrow (he ultimately developed a hunchback from all the hiking, so beware!). Looking through the shaggy remnants of his library, it's loaded full of my kind of reads: Richard Jefferies, H.G. Wells, Casanova's complete memoirs, Fanny Hill (filthy beggar!), Turgenev, even saw Burroughs' sci-fi novels in there. It's insane how much we have in common, and yet all I saw while he was alive was that sweet smile and figured there wasn't much more to him beneath it.
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