Julian Cope presents Head Heritage

Head To Head
Log In
The Village Pump »
Conspiracy Theories
Log In to post a reply

Topic View: Flat | Threaded
1621 posts

Conspiracy Theories
Dec 23, 2016, 13:14

Good Evening, Truth McTruth is back to change your misguided and spoon-fed view of certain historical events.

1) The Death of JFK. Some say it was a communist sniper and some say it was ‘an inside job’ by the US government. Nonsense! Were you there or did you only see that work of fiction on the TV?

THE TRUTH: It is a little known fact that JFK was a chocoholic and he overdosed on some of that cocoa fuelled dark Belgian stuff.

2) The Death of Marilyn Monroe. An overdose, possibly through the hands of the CIA? What maniac came up with that one?

THE TRUTH: After smoking far too much weed, she tried to eat a poodle and it got lodged in her throat. Sillygirl.

3) The Lockerbie air disaster. This got blamed on Libyan terrorists. Have you ever heard the likes?

THE TRUTH: A 5 cent coin somehow (yet to find out why) got stuck in one of the emergency exits. Supposedly highly trained aviation engineers failed to spot this. Bunch of fools. It caused the door to come loose causing a loss in atmospheric pressure.

4) The Twin Towers. Brought down by Islamic hi-jackers or another inside job by the US government in order to create a war in the Middle East over matters of oil prices? Jesus wept!

THE TRUTH: Some idiots left one window open in tower one and two windows open in tower two causing a catastrophic feng shui mishap, and that as they say was that.

5) Adolf Hitler. Killed himself in a bunker due to losing WWII or captured and then executed in secret? Ever seen the body? Thought not.

THE TRUTH: Winston Churchill came round to his house one night and kicked his cunt in for knocking over his pint the previous week. He held a grudge.

I’ll keep you updated on my extensive research regarding the moon landings and the killing of Osama Bin Laden.

Keep looking, and until next time!

Truth McTruth was there!
363 posts

Re: Conspiracy Theories
Dec 30, 2016, 05:33
Don't sweat it - I know Mick Lynch died immediately before 2016.

Then everything fell apart the arbiter of chaos twat - have you ever tried to buy a Stump album on Amazon!? It's all just ratty boxes and broken towels - and if you even do receive it you have to type a tedious email to the BBC about "why are there so many black people now? is it the 85p Guinness?"

Anyway, here's Wendy and Lisa out hotting themselves on French Television yes is it Rick Astley go away
363 posts

Re: Conspiracy Theories
Dec 30, 2016, 05:38
Mick Lynch is the sole,
Amon Tobin
Like Haemotobin

Mick Lynch
363 posts

Edited Dec 30, 2016, 05:46
Re: Conspiracy Theories
Dec 30, 2016, 05:41
Any comparisons to Giles Peterson on Radio 6 at Christmas time

Mick Lynch, presumably now he's been dead a whole year,
could Ableton all radio into one solid program
that you build from the ground up
like a fitness test

then employ special elves
and special heart failures
and special typewriters

special CYNICAL HARRY POTTER typewriters
to perform a special gimmick
to toast a man I have never met
to be a man I wish I were

just search engine optimizing the bitch
fuck you Mick Lynch,
the person I must research now.

I will not act in your stead.

We have Trump now.
The Village Pump Index