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Top ten worst ever rock ballads
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Edited Aug 08, 2012, 09:07
Re: Top ten worst ever rock ballads
Aug 06, 2012, 14:30
While you lot are busy setting fire to the downtrodden and misunderstood street person that is Hair Metal here are some examples of rock ballad sins from a few slightly less easy-to-hit targets ...

You Can't Put Your Arms Around A Memory - Johnny Thunders
Could have been sub-titled "Sad Eyed Junkie Of The Lowlands". Anyone so taken with all that elegantly wasted nonsense back in 78 to the point of seriously considering dabbling should have been made to listen to this on repeat for as long as it took for their Nils/Keef haircut to grow out.

Love Will Tear Us Apart - Joy Division (and others)
This is to Joy Division what "Jump" is to Van Halen - a record as over-exposed as it is incoherently produced and under-written. Unless you find the self pity of adulterers especially compelling the only thing in its favour is that it didn't get a chance to ruin side two of "Closer". Like many an Art Rocker, Curtis was at his best (and is consdierably less mawkish) when recycling better writers and when it comes to Goth Rock balladry "Something Fast" takes it to the cleaners and has the virtue of also being genuinely funny.

Angie / Beast of Burden / Wild Horses / Waiting On A Friend- The Rolling Stones
Hard to take the Stones seriously when they are playing at being tender let alone when playing at being tender and self-revealing at the same time. I don't believe a single note of any of it. That said I have an irrational affection for "Fool To Cry" and a great love of Mary Chapin Carpenter's version of Jagger's "Party Doll".

Breathe On Me - Ron Wood
I love "Now Look" but this is a lost decade ballad that feels so sorry for itself that it tries to cover its own tracks by pretending to be a Country Rock shuffle. Nick Kent loved it for its so-tender-as-to-be-raw heart back in 1979 but I expect he has thought better of it since. At least I don't remember him mentioning it in print any time since ....

Behind Blue Eyes - The Who
And we were supposed to feel sorry for you why exactly? Hard to believe this is the same writer that turned out the good ballady bits of Quadrophenia. I expect Joey Barton and John Terry like to sing this song. Now that's a football record I would pay to hear!
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