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Introducing the new romantic poetry range
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1716 posts

Edited May 25, 2019, 23:38
Re: Introducing the new romantic poetry range
May 25, 2019, 21:49
What's the state above hypnagogic?
Is it hypnagogledd?
It looks like you've moved in again
like a beginning and an end
Let me catch my hypno pomp breath.

Oh come and be my second wife
Come and be my first
Come and share this vegan luncheon Linda McCartney bratwurst.

Take two months off

and meet the beetles,
in this sterilised and lime free Earth
I can still manage to lift things but without you there's a dearth.

Without you I'm a vegetable,
I'm just crying to Meecher
Come and light my replica Olympic cauldron garden feature.



ugh, nobody ever listens to me, it's like I've got Cassava Complex

1716 posts

Edited Jun 27, 2019, 18:18
Re: Introducing the new romantic poetry range
May 26, 2019, 00:05
Comms suspended
28 years later
and 28 degrees out of phase

like a Holy onion
calendrical bunions
describe my current malaise

a life of pi and uncertainty
and hacking straight into my brain, man

I keep having to type stupid shit that rhymes
like a cute but ungifted Rainman.

Come and watch my Wapner.
Come and watch my Wapner.
(guitar builds then lyric changes to "Come and watch my Wagner" then fade out and cry into a shrub).

1716 posts

Edited Jun 01, 2019, 03:15
Re: Introducing the new romantic poetry range
May 28, 2019, 12:52
Tobacco smoke whiffles at the Brown Etonian inverse square law of cat shit
it's 8:57am
do you want to die early?
maybe you do
Christ, am I the shit?
I know it's not Grand Budapest standard
but my mind is still blown.

Urban soil biome and fitness supplement
dug you up like a repressed memory
when I found a picture of you.
Swipe your phone into a bog before you trip another LCD Stoatsystem
at least you didn't forget about dray.
(ye, and he could rhyme too)
Shut up I'm trying to write a poem, FFS.

I remember who you are now:
Fourteen taunting legs akimbo,
a graded cellist with caustic sinew and love of Morrissey exorcised
replaced with creme Caramel
the same Magdala hair and knowing eyes
tell me what that smell is,
let me enter your prize draw to win one of five thousand personal CD players
when I find a picture of you
you make my whole jar wobble.


1716 posts

Edited May 29, 2019, 13:05
Re: Introducing the new romantic poetry range
May 29, 2019, 12:58
(ha, ye, and when you pick up the guitar and start singing you turn it into You're Gorgeous even though you hate that word as there aren't sufficient adjectives to describe what you're feeling - you think you're so Jonah Ryan but you're barely even Gary Indiana)

ugh, srsly Simulated Universe giNgko_C operator, let me obssesss over my Baby Bird in peace - I've managed to nail it to dyphenhydramine toxicity coupled with a serotonin mindphuq brought about by remedial hangover dependence on St John's Wort and 5HTP, but otherwise it's just an early onset midlife crisis affair with the memory of a rock teenager. Utter utter bolox, we'll get there eventually though. Fuck.

1716 posts

Edited Jun 01, 2019, 04:19
Thirteen-lined ground squirrel
Jun 01, 2019, 03:38
Anti time
a retro boson becoming
spine of steel and shark attracting
rejoin this Saturn failure
appear to me as mashed potato
obsolete playback aloft
rivet me with potential
syncronise our vectors
and mill me
into your Tiger baps
tee'd off with 'ecky thwap
scattered sciurious
into your lusher rise


1716 posts

Edited Jun 03, 2019, 23:01
Re: Introducing the new romantic poetry range
Jun 03, 2019, 22:53
If only you'd told me back then
when was your birthday
I checked the Friends 2019 calendar and it says I was most likely on a train.

I selfish I would never have had to live through this whole charade,
or at least I could have knowing full well you'd have had no part in it.

Is what I say to my inner therapist every time my memory of you makes me want to vomit up my entire being.

Instead of trying to think up Star Trek: The Next Generation themed chat up lines.

Or wondering if we were both Christmas and Easter Islands, when can we both have crabs?


1716 posts

Edited Jun 04, 2019, 00:15
Re: Introducing the new romantic poetry range
Jun 03, 2019, 23:46
oh Holy Gymnopedie number 14

cast a D-sixteen die roll to rail ya
over East this Saturnalia
and if there is no signal failure

your Squirrel Lord of Misrule tow
into your heart above below
and if the season does not snow

ignore this poster from Athena
of Cliff Richard when he was leaner
blood and honey daubs mislead ya
let my chronic kitchen feed ya
cobbled guff from Wikipedia (aha!)

distances can often drain ya
the waiter's slow Caster Semenya
tease for me your Magdalena

on your wine collapse again
collapse on me your lonely friend
incredulous your eyes can lend

caress my face I froth with Rabies
as I want you to have my babies

then unceremoniously dump me on my birthday
1716 posts

Edited Jun 20, 2019, 14:43
Re: Introducing the new romantic poetry range
Jun 14, 2019, 12:52
I whispered, 'I am too drunk,'
And then, 'I am not drunk enough';
Wherefore I grew a potato
To find out if I might eat.
'Peel your spud, peel your spud, young man,
If the gravy be young and fair.'
Ah, potato, sweet potato,
I am looped in the loops of your hair.

O spud is the crooked thing,
There is no Angle wide enough
To find out all that is in it,
For he would be searching for the peeler
Till the forks had run away
And the knives hidden behind the Moomin spoons.
Ah, potato, sweet potato,
One cannot *M*A*S*H* too soon.


1716 posts

Edited Jun 20, 2019, 15:05
Re: Introducing the new romantic poetry range
Jun 14, 2019, 17:40
((hullo, Jesus here again, hmpf - I guess you Googled 14 Corinthians then. I am glad you have found love. Actually I've got this ace joke nobody ever told you - all those visions you saw are actually just mind constructs invented by a sarcastic twat. Basically lots of us were slaves to the Pharoah so we just injected something stupid into the Heiroglyphics so that images would be perpetuated into the future and make everybody really dumb in the process. What. A. Gas. Anyway, you probably won't do anything with this message, in fact you're on the verge of thinking you can control the weather, and believe me the Cliff Richard poster honey formulation love spell isn't all that in HER mind, you need to repent for the past 17 years of your life and maybe be accepted by the woman at the checkout at best. OK, byeeeeeeee))


But what about Addison Lee? Aren't they just voting themselves out of work?

((pffff, work. Yeh, uh huh hurr))


1716 posts

Edited Jun 17, 2019, 21:30
Re: Introducing the new romantic poetry range
Jun 17, 2019, 21:22
basic longing
meeting outside and inside and all of the sides
this Eurovision entry is going well
currently rhyming "religion"
with "dodecasmidgeon"
Onto a winner.


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