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Edited Jun 30, 2020, 17:15
Re: Stewart Lee
Jun 30, 2020, 12:46
giNgko_C wrote:
Now, I was too carrer de les monged to spot whether I did have a courgette half asleep on the Saturday but not so out of it on the Sunday I didn't spot that offending Danny Dyer Zoo Magazine article was originally published on a p.33!! All I can say is, if you inhabit a William Burroughs-type Time Trumpet Universe then there is at least one "cut-up" technique that actually does work!!!

(the carrer de les monged was a callback to magic number 1441 as coincidentally enough the vegan restaurant in Port de Pollenca happens to be at #14 Carrer de les Monges. Anyway...)

HP304 printer cartridge? URGH! I'm seeing 3s and 4s bloody everywhere now!!!


Right, little recap: March 18 Dope's Ain't Nobody received on vinyl from ex, April 18 ex texts me about Chaka Khan's Ain't Nobody playing on radio, May 18 Chaka Khan's Ain't Nobody received on vinyl by me and Ollie & Jerry's Breakin... There's No Stopping Us off the same vinyl comes on the radio minutes later.

SO, unequivocally, June 18, after exactly 3 months of Ain't Nobody's cosmic tinnitus, becomes the date the ex and me decide to "meet again" after all these years. She assures me everything will be fine if you just practise a little manifestation, but me being mad have become fixated on Chaka Khan's Ain't Nobody being at #13 in the Official Charts on Friday 13th April 1984, discovered purely because MIDI note 104 is piano key 84 is frequency 3322.44Hz, and now I find that Friday the 13th: The Final Chapter was released to cinemas on this date too. ARRRGHHH!!! Why have slasher flicks on the mind when going to meet up with your ex girlfriend of approaching 13 years ago? That's well Danny dire!!!!!!!! Still, the rail connection gets in at 1441 so sold in an instant to that man regardless of what might happen over the weekend...

1246 Chaka is a non-family asteroid from the main belt's background population. It orbits the Sun in the central asteroid belt at a distance of 1.8–3.4 AU once every 4 years and 3 months, so I'm sat PPE'd up on the train and the first thing I read is Dame Vera Lynn has died aged 103.

"Where's your beacon of light at the nation's darkest hour now, ye Brexitanians!? The ex and me WILL meet again!!! Hold your well-water birthday bumps, quirky space-gerbil Taylor! We ARE getting back together!!! For an hour..."

Christmas 2007 was the last Christmas my father was alive, and also the last time I consult The Secret Language Of Birthdays for relationship advice. That stupid bloody book led me to believe that the ex getting knocked down on her bike just when I'm in a massive drunken mood with her is the sign that I perhaps shouldn't bother any more. Christmas 2019 and days after reconnecting online I'm dreaming about walking around Kings Lynn Sainsburys with her. An unforced online ordering error on her part a half year later and we're taking a detour to a Sainsburys Click & Collect together. It is quite literally a m*ther f*cking dream come true.

Neil Young's Like A Hurricane is playing on the radio in the kitchen while she's making breakfast, as if to perpetuate the hastily copy-pasted S.L. MacGregor Mathers line "He can raise Lightnings and Thunders, Blasts, and Great Tempestuous Storms". The woman I spent months resenting because a great friend of mine had the tact and sensitivity to inform me she was pregnant the same afternoon I'd found out my dad had died (Friday 13th June 2008) is making me hash browns. And I want to fucking cry.

Shortly after the news that 3 people have been killed and 3 people injured in a knife attack in Reading witnessed by 41 people. Oh, that'll be the slasher flick bit then. Why am I not surprised?

A day or two after I happen to catch her text in the middle of the night about the thunder and lightning. The hour ticks over from 3 to 4am, and the unexpressed thought of us somehow promising ourselves to each other 'til the end of Time makes my gall bladder secrete some hotflush-inducing humour I don't ever recall experiencing awake. Maybe on March 2nd this year, when she txtd me "oi give me more attention" and people in the UK had started dieing from Covid-19. Better see a plumber about that I guess. The hot flush I mean, not the Covid-19.

What happens to YOUR body after 13 to 14 weeks not drinking!?

Anyway, forget everything you haven't just read, nothing of note has ever happened on a June 30th!!!


PS: Oh! The ex just alerted me to r6 Huey's Ain't Nobody selection on Fantastic Beats and Where To Find Them this very morning. Well I never!

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