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Boris Johnson in the Telegraph
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Sin Agog
Sin Agog
2253 posts

Re: Boris Johnson in the Telegraph
Jun 27, 2016, 15:00
A mean missive to one for whom words come short,

As I have abandoned my religion since placing you above any comparatively vulgar deity, it is to you then I must make this confession. Just as plant-life turns green at the thought of all the others on whom the Sun deigns to pay court, I, too, am on the rack thinking of all those undeserved numbers who receive your friendship with a sniff and a sigh. Would that they knew they have an Olympian in their midst! They could not possibly appreciate the delicacy of your presence as would I. It seems, like a child who has spent the blossom of his youth in apprenticeship for his craft, I have wholeheartedly thrown myself into the task of transforming myself into a suitable paramour for you, if you should one day deign to allow me to assume my rightful place. Oh, dhajie, dodge, these names displace all other thoughts. They are mantras which, repeated, deposit my spirit on firmanents where felicities unimaginable are the natural order of the day.

We must meet, my beloved! Perhaps I am being too forward? We are, after all, both men with God-given inclinations from which most other men revile. Perhaps you fear your social standing being jeopardised should word ever escape of our union? I assure you, your fears will be groundless. I shall build a shield and body armour of compassion in which garb I will dress your spirits; sneers and rumourmongers will never pierce your breast whilst clad in such an outfit.

Your tailor and eternal admirer,

Sin Agog
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