Oh and this is very important: NO CUCUMBER involvement!! That green, vicious bastard is my comestible arch-foe! How does something so wet and bland manage to taint every sandwhich it manages to infiltrate? I shall not rest until it is obliterated from every menu in the land. That stuff makes me want to bite a cow's face off!
NO CUCUMBER. IT IS EVIL!!!!
As as for fucking beetroot eeeeeeeeuurrrrgh!