Julian Cope presents Head Heritage

The price of seeing The Stonehenge should be kept to under 10p (for those who actually want to pay). Every sightseer should be compelled to line up in height order though. The visitors should them be made to approach the stones in line with their eyes closed and then limited to no more than a minute of viewing (in case their eyes suck in too much of "Ye Magik Of Ye Stonehenge". They can open their eyes on the way back but not turn around and look again (anyone doing so should be forced to dance a samba while being jeered and mocked by judges from Strictly Come Dancing).

Those who decide to contribute a sum (of no more than 10p) should be personally thanked by someone dressed in a D'Oily Carte Light Opera Company admiral's uniform (the "admiral" can be a lady or a gentleman but they must be wearing a monocle). Those monies collected should be directed to National Organisations like "Riding For The Confused", "Save The Wasp" and "Woodwork For The Short-As-Two-Thick-Planks".