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A Bannon Ship
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584 posts

Edited Jun 29, 2017, 00:06
A Bannon Ship
Jun 28, 2017, 23:34
Hurrah! I have invented the 21st Century's answer to Spinal Tap!

They're called "Cosmetic Weekend"

I already have the NME reviews lined up, they shall be referred to only as

"Emetic Weekend"

and everybody will dislike them because they play quasi-pseudo-improv-cisco-otter with all of the songs deliberately 120 degrees out of phase with themselves, so to compensate each of the three musicians have to perform on a rotunda which spins at the average tempo of the band.

And the amps are at 3 points on the outside of the rotunda with a fixed tri-stereo setup to get the doppler effect going

the drummer is either the fourth member, or he's got his brain wired up to that Hit Anything Robot kit.
Kid Calamity
8959 posts

Re: A Bannon Ship
Jun 29, 2017, 09:06
Albums are sold as telepathic downloads.
913 posts

Edited Jun 29, 2017, 18:31
Re: A Bannon Ship
Jun 29, 2017, 18:29
This all sounds like a/an attempt at popularizing a new genre that emphasizes the 'Brown Note'...
Quite frankly, at my age that wouldn't be a bad thing to have on hand in the 'loo' on those off days when even straining and heaving doesn't seem to help.

Will this work with small book-shelf speakers?
584 posts

Edited Jul 01, 2017, 22:10
Re: A Bannon Ship
Jul 01, 2017, 21:51
only if your toilet is for some reason in the centre of your bathroom, though I've just realised you can simulate the experience by putting every mix channel through a sin(channel_number) phased tremelo with a +- pitch shifter applied to the left and right respectively, if bouncing to stereo.

I didn't tell you about my first Golden Sunrise tomato did I? We had a bit of a downpour here recently so the first of these ripening split on account of the water uptake, and when I looked at the blossom end there were three distinct white lines eminating from the center outwards at 120 degrees each (I didn't get a protractor out or anything I just cut it in half and shared it with the mrs - tasted like a tomato, funnily enough. Yes, we single handedly defeated the rise of fascism in Greece with our mouths).

I've forgotten how to manage my imaginary rotating speaker band called Cosmetic Weekend, though the first imaginary NME review is in:

"Like The Darkness performing Down covers with medically significant vitamin B deficiency."
584 posts

Re: A Bannon Ship
Jul 01, 2017, 23:15
they should legalise laudanum
584 posts

Edited Jul 02, 2017, 03:05
Re: A Bannon Ship
Jul 02, 2017, 03:03
Hey Dajj, new business proposition:


a combined gun range and business development park where the table is one half real and one half holograms of the people you are conferencing with, so you can both practice your gun arm whilst negotiating percentages on batteries or liquids.

"Need to remote negotiate? Already entertain thousands of market people who'd rather shoot each other than give away half a percent on their thing they're making money out of?

"Now YOU can entertain them at gunpoint!

"Get down to the Glock'n'Spiel and see your negotiations go further than a bullet in the head!"
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